If you feel that something is missing in your relationship and you don’t know where to start, in this post I’ll give you some simple keys that will help you take better care of your relationship and start to feel that things can change. But, important: as with any change, it requires consistency, intention, and, as we’re talking about relationships, “it will be a matter of two.” However, evolution always starts with oneself first, so: GET TO IT and you’ll see how the energy around you changes too. 😉 So write down the 8 points that I share below and then start applying them. As always, it’s made with a lot of love so that it can help you. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Here are the keys to knowing how to improve your relationship:
1)
Get to know yourself (more and more)
Take time to observe yourself, to know yourself
and know what you want. Maybe you’ll find out things about yourself that you didn’t know before!
This way you will know what is important to you in a relationship, why you are in a relationship, what else you want to contribute and what aspects you want to take care of.
Take charge, take action, be proactive.
2)
What kind of couple do I want to be?*
Don’t think so much about how you want the other person to be, instead ask yourself this question.
Think about who you want to be as a couple. And ask yourself this question frequently so that you always have your answer in mind and can see if things have changed in you and in your way of seeing the relationship. *
3)
Communicate, express, trust
Sometimes we think that the other person is clairvoyant, that they have to know everything we think, feel, etc. Does that sound familiar? No, they are not.
So make it easy for them: express what you feel (assertively, with kindness and respect) and invite them to do the same. Enjoy the pleasure of sharing and listening (without judgment) , even if sometimes the topics are more complex or you find it very difficult.
4)
Less complaints and more laughter
Sometimes we complain out of habit and it is clear that this does not generate motivation.
“You left the plate here again, look at the children, always the same…!”
If you want to feel better, laugh more about yourself, about yourselves, about life, always with respect and kindness. The relationship will appreciate that laughter.
5)
Less reproaches and more praise
Complaining frequently is too easy. “You always do…!”, “Look at the mess!” etc…
If you are one of those people who reproach a lot, it is better to acquire another habit: praise and thank. You will see that it activates enthusiasm and motivation in you and your partner.
6)
Less excuses and more attention to you and your partner
Explore, talk, get out of the routine, even at home, ask him about his dreams, his concerns, what he wants to try, talk about things you don’t usually talk about: Enjoy (re)discovering your partner. generating complicity.
And if you feel like there is no time for that, here is a reflection that might help you. 😉
7)
Seduce no matter the day
Don’t seduce just because you want “something more”, no! Seduce your partner to show your admiration for him/her , to create sparks, to generate surprise, laughter, and, very important: desire. You can do it at any time, without any other purpose than make you feel good. Cooking, cleaning, suddenly in the hallway: any place is good for a little seduction, nothing more.
You should meet the brilliant Esther Perel on how to keep desire active and boost the health of our relationships. Here is one of her revealing talks.
8)
Take care of your space
Take care of your personal space and that of others . You are not “half oranges”, each one, but you are “whole oranges” who need their time and space to develop as individuals. Feeling autonomous makes us feel good.
Summarizing:
How to improve your relationship? Keep the illusion alive and if it has gone out, try to activate it. Start with that, even if the dream is to strive to be better in your relationship.
And then, pay attention to the results without expecting them to be short-term. As I said at the beginning, a relationship needs to be cared for EVERY DAY.
Enjoy the process!
I hope you found this helpful and if you want to know more about how I work, you can find more information here .
Thanks for reading!
Anna
*question taken from #coachingteleologico @herminiagoma
Original photo by @cblack09 and converted to duotone.
