Today’s post is about those moments when we would like to do something but we don’t do it because we are embarrassed.
It’s about those moments when that somewhat annoying feeling paralyzes us and prevents us from doing what we were going to do.
It’s about those situations, like for example, when you’re at a party and, suddenly, you want to dance like crazy but you don’t dare because you feel… embarrassed.
This post is not going to take away your shame, but it will invite you to become friends with her .
Let’s see what shame is for:
Shame is an emotion and like all emotions it has a purpose.
Shame appears when you value yourself negatively considering that you do not comply with a social or personal norm and this could perhaps result in being excluded from your “community”, “tribe”. Therefore, shame has an important function at a social level and since human beings are social beings, we do not feel it in vain. It simply protects us from being rejected from the “herd”, it helps us to be part of it so that we can satisfy our need to belong.
In short, the adaptive function of shame is to maintain our connection with others by taking into account our behaviors and sounding the “alarm” when it may be time to correct one.
Now, like all emotions, they are great when they do their job, but they can be annoying or lose their purpose if we “misuse” them. Let me explain:
A function becomes maladaptive , in this case shame, when it causes us a continuous feeling of inferiority, when it does not allow us to express ourselves calmly, when it cuts off our freedom at all times. In this case, shame is overprotecting us and not allowing us to evolve as a species.
That’s when shame becomes unproductive and it’s time to get down to work to rectify the situation.
As?
Well, little by little.
Now that you know more about its function, I suggest you first observe yourself when you feel embarrassed.
When do you feel it?
What do you feel?
What do you think at that moment?
What do you think about what you think?
What result does it have for you?
These are just a few questions to get you started on your curiosity to explore this fantastic, and sometimes somewhat annoying, emotion.
What do you think? Do you want to start investigating? You already know that my mission is to generate curiosity so that you become passionate, like me, about getting to know yourself better. You will see that this way you will understand yourself much better and enjoy yourself more.
If you want to know more about shame, here is a post I published on my Instagram account:
I’d love to read how you experience it. Don’t be shy to express it in the comments. 😉
Happy to have you here. Thanks!
Anna
